My child was just diagnosed with autism. What do I do?

If your child was just diagnosed with autism, the first thing to do is nothing large. You don't need a five-year plan tonight. This week you need three things: the written diagnostic report in hand, one referral request submitted (early intervention if under 3, your school district if 3 or older), and one honest conversation with the people who will be around your child on Saturday. Autism is a way your child's brain is wired, not a disease to fight. Special Learning builds free, plain-language guides for the families walking through this exact week.

The diagnosis just landed. The rest of your life is still going on around it — dinner still needs to happen, work emails still arrive, your child still needs their same routine tonight. That's the hardest part and the truest part: everything is different and nothing is different at the same time.

What should I do in the first 48 hours after the diagnosis?

Ask the evaluating clinician for the written diagnostic report — not a summary, the full report with codes and recommendations. Early intervention, your school district and most therapy providers will ask to see it. If you didn't get one at the appointment, call the office tomorrow and ask when it will be ready. Put it in a folder, physical or digital, that you won't lose.

Who do I need to call this week?

If your child is under 3, call your state's early intervention program (search "[your state] early intervention" — the evaluation is at no cost to families under federal rules). If your child is 3 or older, call your school district's special education office and ask about an evaluation for services. Ask your pediatrician for referrals to a speech-language pathologist and an occupational therapist. Don't try to make all these calls in one day. Make the early intervention or school call this week: the clock for the evaluation starts when they receive your referral (45 days for under 3).

How do I talk to my child about the diagnosis?

Age matters. Younger children may not need a formal conversation at all — the diagnosis is a tool for the adults around them, not a label they carry. Older children who ask questions deserve honest, plain answers: "Your brain works in a way that has a name. The name is autism. It's why some things feel loud or hard, and it's why some things you notice, other people don't."

What if I feel numb, angry, or nothing at all?

All of it's normal. Grief for the picture you had in your head doesn't mean you love the child in front of you less. You're allowed to feel all of it. If you can, tell one person — a partner, a friend, a sibling — how you actually feel, not the version you say when you don't want to worry them.

Where do I start learning without drowning?

Pick one source and stay with it for a week before adding a second. Start with the free ABCs of Autism guide below — plain language, no jargon, and no cost.

• Request the full written diagnostic report from the evaluating clinician.
• Make one call: early intervention (under 3) or your school district's special ed office (3+).
• Ask your pediatrician for speech-language and occupational therapy referrals.
• Tell one person how you actually feel, not the reassuring version.
• Download the free ABCs of Autism guide and read only the first section this week.

Prefer to start with one guide? Download the free ABCs of Autism guide →

Next: first week checklist

References

• Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2025, May 27). Data and statistics on autism spectrum disorder. https://www.cdc.gov/autism/data-research/index.html
• Shaw, K. A., Williams, S., Patrick, M. E., Valencia-Prado, M., Durkin, M. S., Howerton, E. M., … Maenner, M. J. (2025). Prevalence and early identification of autism spectrum disorder among children aged 4 and 8 years: Autism and Developmental Disabilities Monitoring Network, 16 sites, United States, 2022. MMWR Surveillance Summaries, 74(2), 1–22. https://doi.org/10.15585/mmwr.ss7402a1
• Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2026, April 13). About autism spectrum disorder. https://www.cdc.gov/autism/about/index.html
• Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2026, February 17). Concerned about your child’s development? https://www.cdc.gov/act-early/families/concerned.html
• Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2024, May 16). Treatment and intervention for autism spectrum disorder. https://www.cdc.gov/autism/treatment/index.html
• Hyman, S. L., Levy, S. E., Myers, S. M., & Council on Children with Disabilities, Section on Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics. (2020). Identification, evaluation, and management of children with autism spectrum disorder. Pediatrics, 145(1), Article e20193447. https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2019-3447
• Individuals with Disabilities Education Act, Part C regulations, 34 C.F.R. § 303.521(b); § 303.310; § 303.303. https://www.ecfr.gov/current/title-34/part-303
• Individuals with Disabilities Education Act, Part B regulations, 34 C.F.R. § 300.301; § 300.101. https://www.ecfr.gov/current/title-34/part-300
• Lord, C., Elsabbagh, M., Baird, G., & Veenstra-Vanderweele, J. (2018). Autism spectrum disorder. The Lancet, 392(10146), 508–520. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0140-6736(18)31129-2
• Wayment, H. A., & Brookshire, K. A. (2018). Mothers’ reactions to their child’s ASD diagnosis: Predictors that discriminate grief from distress. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 48(3). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-017-3266-2
• Legg, H., & Tickle, A. (2019). UK parents’ experiences of their child receiving a diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder: A systematic review of the qualitative evidence. Autism, 23(8), 1897–1910. https://doi.org/10.1177/1362361319841488

Last updated 2026-07-11. This page is general information, not medical advice. Talk with your child's clinician about your specific situation.