The most useful thing you can do at home is respond to all of your child's communication, not just speech: reaching, pointing, leading you by the hand, sounds and pictures. Then give them small reasons to ask, like offering a choice of two things and waiting. Here's how, whether your child is just starting to speak, uses AAC, or communicates in other ways.
What this page covers
Communication is one of the most central challenges in autism — and one of the most common questions parents ask. "My child has words but doesn't use them to talk to me." "My child doesn't speak at all — what do I do?" "How do I talk to my child in a way they understand?" This guide answers those questions in plain language.
Communication is not just speech. Your child may be communicating constantly — through reaching, pointing, leading you by the hand, making sounds, using pictures, pushing things away, or expressing distress. If you're only responding to spoken words, you're missing most of the conversation.
The first step is to expand what counts as communication in your home. When your child reaches toward the refrigerator, that's a request. Respond to it. When your child makes a sound to protest something, that's communication. Respond to it. When your child pushes something away, that's a clear message. Respond to it. Then work with the therapy team to build from there.
Offer a choice between two things your child enjoys. Pause briefly to make space for a response, then respond to any attempt to communicate. If your child gets upset, help right away. Keep food, water, comfort and other necessities available.
One instruction at a time. Short sentences. Avoid idioms and sarcasm. Get to your child's eye level. After speaking, wait several seconds without repeating — processing takes longer for many children with autism than parents expect.
You can narrate what's happening, label objects, and demonstrate language without requiring your child to repeat or respond. "Here's the juice. Juice. You want juice." Modeling builds exposure and comprehension without pressure.
Show what you mean. Point to the object when you name it. Use pictures alongside words. A visual schedule helps your child anticipate what's coming and reduces the communication demands of transitions.
"Do you want crackers or a banana?" is easier to respond to than "What do you want?" Closed choices reduce the cognitive load and make successful communication more likely — which builds confidence and motivation to communicate again.
Communication strategies work best when everyone uses them in a similar way. Share what helps your child with other caregivers when you can, and respond to your child's communication whenever you notice it.
Nonverbal does not mean non-communicating. Many children with autism who don't use speech communicate clearly through other channels — and building on that is the right foundation.
PECS (Picture Exchange Communication System) is another approach used with nonverbal and minimally verbal children — the child exchanges a picture card with a partner to make a request. It's taught in structured phases by a trained clinician and then practiced at home. If your child's team is using PECS, ask how you can support it consistently across settings.
Functional communication training (FCT) is an ABA-based approach where the child learns a specific way to communicate — a word, sign, picture, or device press — to replace a problem behavior that served the same purpose.
For example: if a child screams to get a break from a demand, FCT teaches them to hand over a "break" card or press a button instead. The key is identifying what the child is communicating with the behavior — and teaching a more efficient, appropriate alternative. FCT is designed by a BCBA and can be practiced at home once the communication behavior is established in therapy.
How can I help my child with autism communicate better at home?
Create communication opportunities by offering a choice between two things your child enjoys and giving them time to respond. Help if your child gets upset, and keep food, water, comfort and other necessities available. Respond to all forms of communication — pointing, reaching, vocalizing, using pictures. Model language without demanding a response. Use simple, direct instructions one at a time. Ask your child's speech therapist which strategies align with their current goals.
What is AAC and should my child with autism use it?
AAC (Augmentative and Alternative Communication) includes any method that supplements or replaces speech — picture boards, sign language, speech-generating devices, apps. Research shows AAC does not delay speech development and often supports it. If your child is nonverbal or minimally verbal, ask their SLP about AAC options. AAC is not giving up on speech. It gives your child a voice now, whether or not speech comes later.
What is PECS and how does it work?
PECS (Picture Exchange Communication System) is a communication method where the child exchanges a picture card with a partner to make a request. It's taught in structured phases by a trained clinician and practiced at home. If your child's team is using PECS, ask how to support it consistently at home.
My child with autism is nonverbal — what should I do?
Nonverbal does not mean non-communicating. Build from what your child is already doing — gestures, eye gaze, sounds, reaching. Get a speech-language pathology evaluation if you haven't; an SLP who specializes in autism can assess current communication and recommend supports like AAC. Ask about a hearing test too, if your child has not had one. At home: respond to every communicative attempt, model language without pressure, and create situations where communication is motivating.
How do I talk to my child with autism in a way they can understand?
Keep instructions short and direct, one step at a time. Avoid idioms. Get to eye level. Wait several seconds after speaking before repeating. Pair words with visuals or gestures. Use a calm, predictable tone. Offer choices instead of open-ended questions. Your child's speech therapist can give specific guidance based on their current level.
Sources: American Academy of Pediatrics: AAC for children; ASHA: autism and communication assessment.
A plain-language starting guide for families — what to do after diagnosis, how to work with the therapy team, and how to support your child at home. No clinical background required.
Get the Free Family Guide →This content is general educational information only. Communication challenges in autism vary significantly between individuals — consult a licensed speech-language pathologist and your child's therapy team for guidance specific to your child's needs.
Related guide: Autism Therapy at Home: What You Can Start Today
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