Autism IEP Starter Kit for Parents

Your first IEP meeting can feel like walking into a room full of people who already know the process while you're learning it in real time. You have real, legally protected rights in this process, and a small set of questions and preparation steps go a long way toward making sure the plan actually fits your child.

Your Core Rights

• You are a required participant. Schools must invite you to every IEP meeting and schedule it at a mutually agreeable time — this isn't a courtesy, it's federal law (IDEA).
• You get written notice before changes. The school must notify you in writing before evaluating your child, before the initial placement, and before most subsequent changes to services.
• You can review every record. You have the right to see all school records related to your child, including evaluations, at any time.
• You can request an independent evaluation. If you disagree with the school's evaluation, you can request (and in many cases have the district fund) an independent educational evaluation.
• You do not have to sign at the meeting. You can take the draft home, review it, and respond later. Signing typically means you consent to it going into effect.
• You can dispute a decision. Mediation and due process are formal routes if you and the school can't agree — your state's Parent Training and Information (PTI) center guides families through this for free.

The 5 Questions to Ask at Every IEP Meeting

1. What specific, measurable goals are we setting, and how will progress be measured? "Improve communication" is not measurable. "Use 3-word requests independently in 4 of 5 opportunities" is.
2. What services and supports is my child actually receiving, in hours per week? Speech, OT, a 1:1 aide, behavior support — get the real number, not a vague description.
3. Is this the Least Restrictive Environment for my child right now? Ask specifically how much time is spent in general education vs. a separate setting, and why.
4. How and when will I be updated on progress before the next annual review? You shouldn't have to wait a full year to find out a goal isn't working.
5. What happens if my child isn't making progress on a goal? Ask what the school's plan is for adjusting the approach — not just documenting that it isn't working.

Meeting-Prep Checklist

• Request the draft IEP and any new evaluation reports before the meeting, not at the table.
• Write down your top 3 concerns and what specific change you want to see.
• Bring your own notes on what's working and not working at home — schools value real examples.
• Decide whether to bring an advocate, therapist, or support person — you're allowed to.
• Bring a notebook or recorder (check your state's consent-to-record rules first) to track what's agreed.
• Know you can pause the meeting and ask for time before signing anything.

Related: ABA Denied? A Step-by-Step Appeal Kit | Does Insurance Cover ABA? State-by-State Guide | Resources for Parents