What if I disagree with what the school is proposing in the IEP?

You do not have to agree to a proposed IEP on the spot. You can: (1) ask for time to review it before signing; (2) request changes in writing; (3) consent to some parts and not others; (4) ask for mediation if there's a disagreement you cannot resolve; or (5) file a state complaint or due process request as a formal legal remedy. Keep everything in writing. If you verbally raise a concern at the meeting, follow up with an email confirming what you said and what was agreed to.

How to Prepare for an IEP Meeting

Q: What is an IEP meeting and who attends?

An IEP (Individualized Education Program) meeting is a formal meeting required by IDEA (the federal law governing special education) to review and update your child's educational plan. Required participants include: at least one of the child's parents or guardians, the child's regular education teacher (if the child spends any time in general education), a special education teacher, a school district representative who has authority to commit resources, someone who can interpret evaluation results, and the student (when appropriate, especially in high school). Other specialists — a speech therapist, OT, or BCBA — may also attend depending on your child's services.

Q: What should I bring to my child's IEP meeting?

Bring: (1) a copy of your child's current IEP so you can refer to goals and progress; (2) any recent evaluations or reports from outside providers (a BCBA, speech therapist, pediatrician, or specialist you work with privately); (3) a list of questions written in advance; (4) notes about what you've observed at home — behaviors, skills your child has gained, things that are still hard; (5) a recording device if your state allows it and you want to have an accurate record; (6) a support person if you want one — a friend, advocate, or family member.

Q: What questions should I ask at an IEP meeting for a child with autism?

Key questions to ask: How is my child making progress on each current goal? What data are you using to measure that? What will the new goals for this year be, and why were they chosen? What related services (ABA, speech, OT) are being recommended, and how many hours? How will these services be delivered — in a general ed classroom, a resource room, or a separate setting? What happens if my child isn't making progress by the next review? How can I support these goals at home? Who do I contact if I have concerns between now and the next meeting?

Q: What are my rights as a parent at an IEP meeting?

Under IDEA, you have the right to: participate meaningfully as a team member; receive written prior notice before any changes to your child's program; request an Independent Educational Evaluation (IEE) at school district expense if you disagree with the school's evaluation; bring a support person or advocate; review your child's complete educational records; and request mediation or a due process hearing if you and the school cannot agree. You are not required to sign the IEP on the same day — you can take the document home to review it and request changes before signing.

Q: Can I bring someone to support me at an IEP meeting?

Yes. Under IDEA, parents can bring anyone they choose who has knowledge or special expertise about the child — a family member, a private therapist, an advocate, or a friend who takes notes. You do not need to ask permission or explain who you're bringing (though notifying the school in advance is good practice). Some families bring a parent advocate — a trained professional who knows special education law and can help you navigate the process.

The IEP (Individualized Education Program) meeting is one of the most important conversations you'll have about your child's education. You're a full member of the team — not just an observer. Knowing how to prepare makes a real difference in what your child gets.

What Is an IEP Meeting?

An IEP meeting is a formal review of your child's educational plan, required at least once a year by federal law (IDEA — the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act). The team reviews your child's progress on current goals, sets new goals for the coming year, and determines what services and supports the school will provide.

You — as a parent — are a required member of that team. The school cannot hold a valid IEP meeting without you (or your written consent for them to proceed without you).

What to Bring

IEP meeting preparation checklist:

✓ Current IEP — bring a copy so you can follow along with proposed changes
✓ Outside evaluation reports — reports from your child's BCBA, speech therapist, pediatrician, or any specialist you use privately
✓ Your written questions — prepared in advance; you will forget them in the moment if you don't write them down
✓ Your home observations — written notes about what you see at home: what's improved, what's still hard, what triggers you've noticed
✓ A notepad or device — take notes during the meeting; ask for clarification on anything you don't understand before you leave
✓ A support person (optional) — a family member, friend, or advocate who can listen, take notes, or help you stay calm

Questions to Ask at the Meeting

Questions that matter most:

How is my child making progress on each current goal — what data are you using to measure it?
What are the proposed new goals for this year, and why were they chosen?
What related services are being recommended (ABA, speech, OT), and how many hours per week?
How and where will those services be delivered — in the general classroom, a resource room, or a separate setting?
What accommodations will be in place, and who is responsible for implementing each one?
What happens if my child isn't making progress by the next quarterly review?
How can I support these goals at home, and who do I contact with questions between now and the next meeting?

Your Rights as a Parent

What IDEA guarantees you:

Meaningful participation — you are a required team member, not a guest
Prior written notice — the school must notify you in writing before making any change to your child's program
Access to records — you can review your child's complete educational file
Independent Educational Evaluation (IEE) — if you disagree with the school's evaluation, you can request one at school district expense
Time to review — you do not have to sign the IEP the same day; you can take it home and request changes before signing
Dispute resolution — if you and the school cannot agree, you have the right to mediation or a due process hearing

If you are attending your first IEP meeting, one of the most important things to know is: you can ask for more time. If something is proposed that you don't understand, don't sign until you do. The school cannot move forward without your consent on most substantive changes.

What to Do If You Disagree

You do not have to agree to a proposed IEP at the meeting. If you have concerns:

Take the document home and review it carefully before signing
Request specific changes in writing — email after the meeting confirming what you raised verbally
You can consent to parts of the IEP and note your disagreement with specific sections in writing
Ask the special education coordinator about mediation options if you cannot reach agreement
Contact your state's Parent Training and Information (PTI) center — a federally funded resource for families navigating special education — for guidance specific to your state's process

Frequently Asked Questions

What is an IEP meeting and who attends?

An IEP meeting is a formal annual review of your child's educational plan, required by federal law. Required participants include at least one parent or guardian, the child's general education and special education teachers, a school district representative, and someone who can interpret evaluation results. Outside specialists (a BCBA, speech therapist, OT) may also attend.

What should I bring to my child's IEP meeting?

Bring the current IEP, any outside evaluation reports, your written questions, home observation notes, and a notepad. A support person (family member, advocate, or friend) is allowed and often helpful. If your state permits recording, a recording device helps ensure accuracy.

What questions should I ask at an IEP meeting for a child with autism?

Ask about progress data on current goals, why new goals were chosen, what services are being recommended and at how many hours, where services will be delivered, what accommodations are in place, what happens if progress stalls, and how you can support goals at home.

What are my rights as a parent at an IEP meeting?

Under IDEA: you are a required team member; you have the right to prior written notice before program changes; you can request an Independent Educational Evaluation at district expense if you disagree with their evaluation; you can bring a support person; and you can take the IEP home to review before signing. You also have access to mediation and due process if there's a dispute.

Can I bring someone to support me at an IEP meeting?

Yes. You can bring anyone who has knowledge or expertise about your child — a family member, private therapist, parent advocate, or friend who takes notes. IDEA does not require you to ask permission, though notifying the school in advance is good practice.

What if I disagree with what the school is proposing?

Don't sign on the spot. Take the document home to review. Request changes in writing and follow up verbal concerns with an email. You can consent to portions of the IEP and note specific disagreements. If you cannot reach agreement, ask about mediation options or contact your state's PTI center for guidance.

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AI Disclosure: This content was designed with AI assistance and reviewed by Special Learning for accuracy. It is intended for general educational information only and does not constitute legal advice. Special education law varies by state and individual circumstance. Consult a qualified special education advocate, attorney, or your state's PTI center for guidance on your specific situation.

How to Prepare for Your Child's IEP Meeting — A Plain-Language Guide for Autism Parents