My child was just diagnosed with autism. What do I do?

If your child was just diagnosed with autism, the first thing to do is nothing large. You don't need a five-year plan tonight. This week you need three things: the written diagnostic report in hand, one referral request submitted (early intervention if under 3, your school district if 3 or older), and one honest conversation with the people who will be around your child on Saturday. Autism is a way your child's brain is wired, not a disease to fight. Special Learning builds free, plain-language guides for the families walking through this exact week.

The diagnosis just landed. The rest of your life is still going on around it — dinner still needs to happen, work emails still arrive, your child still needs their same routine tonight. That's the hardest part and the truest part: everything is different and nothing is different at the same time.

What should I do in the first 48 hours after the diagnosis?

Ask the evaluating clinician for the written diagnostic report — not a summary, the full report with codes and recommendations. You'll need it for every referral you make. If you didn't get one at the appointment, call the office tomorrow and ask when it will be ready. Put it in a folder, physical or digital, that you won't lose.

Who do I need to call this week?

If your child is under 3, call your state's early intervention program (search "[your state] early intervention" — every US state has one, and it's free to evaluate). If your child is 3 or older, call your school district's special education office and ask about an evaluation for services. Ask your pediatrician for referrals to a speech-language pathologist and an occupational therapist. Don't try to make all these calls in one day. One call a day is enough this week.

How do I talk to my child about the diagnosis?

Age matters. Younger children may not need a formal conversation at all — the diagnosis is a tool for the adults around them, not a label they carry. Older children who ask questions deserve honest, plain answers: "Your brain works in a way that has a name. The name is autism. It's why some things feel loud or hard, and it's why some things you notice, other people don't."

What if I feel numb, angry, or nothing at all?

All of it's normal. Grief for the picture you had in your head doesn't mean you love the child in front of you less. You're allowed to feel all of it. If you can, tell one person — a partner, a friend, a sibling — how you actually feel, not the version you say when you don't want to worry them.

Where do I start learning without drowning?

Pick one source and stay with it for a week before adding a second. There is a flood of autism content online and most of it's written to sell you something. Start with the free ABCs of Autism guide below — plain language, no jargon, and no cost.

• Request the full written diagnostic report from the evaluating clinician.
• Make one call: early intervention (under 3) or your school district's special ed office (3+).
• Ask your pediatrician for speech-language and occupational therapy referrals.
• Tell one person how you actually feel, not the reassuring version.
• Download the free ABCs of Autism guide and read only the first section this week.

Prefer to start with one guide? Download the free ABCs of Autism guide →

Next: first week checklist

• CDC, "Data and Statistics on Autism" (2023 ADDM Network report — 1 in 36 US 8-year-olds) https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/data.html
• American Academy of Pediatrics, "Identification, Evaluation, and Management of Children With Autism Spectrum Disorder" (Hyman SL et al., Pediatrics 2020) https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/145/1/e20193447
• CDC, "If You're Concerned About Your Child's Development" (early intervention referral guidance, current) https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/concerned.html

Last updated 2026-07-11. This page is general information, not medical advice. Talk with your child's clinician about your specific situation.