Christmas with your autistic child: a plan for the day and the visits

How do I help my autistic child enjoy Christmas?

Show your child the real plan for the day in pictures, on calm days in the week before. Choose one quiet spot at home and one wherever you visit. Let presents come at your child's pace, wrapped or not. Put feelings before thank-yous. Plan the day after, too. For sleep, food, relatives and travel, see our guide to holidays and routine changes.

How do I show my child what Christmas Day will look like?

Make a schedule from your real plan: where you'll be, who will be there, and in what order. It shows your child what happens next, one picture per step. Put one thing your child loves on it, so they can see when it's coming. Look at it together on calm days in the week before, and again that morning. Here is a finished example.

The "Any time" cards sit beside the schedule, not in the line. Your child can use one at any point, and a request for help or a break gets a yes right away. Cut-apart cards let you swap a step if the day changes. Swap it before the change happens, so the schedule stays true.

Christmas can arrive slowly, too: a little each day through December, instead of all at once. If lights bother your child, non-blinking and white lights are the least distracting, says Kennedy Krieger Institute.

How do I handle presents and surprises?

A pile of wrapped boxes is a pile of surprises, and surprises can be hard. Dr. Naomi Fisher puts it simply: "Each gift represents uncertainty, and uncertainty is hard." You can change how presents arrive:

• Easy to open. Gift bags and stick-on bows.
• No surprise. Put a label on the outside that says what's inside, or skip the wrapping.
• One at a time. Open one, play with it, then the next.
• Spread out. Open some privately, or as they arrive during the week.
• A helper. A grown-up can be the official present opener.
• Keep it low-key. Play down the build-up instead of raising the excitement.

Tell relatives ahead what your child likes.

What if my child doesn't say thank you?

Feelings come before scripted manners. A disappointed child may tell you how they feel instead of saying thank you, and that is honest. Let gift-givers know ahead that your child may not say "thank you" out loud.

Your child can show thanks however they communicate: speaking, signing, a wave, pointing to a picture card, using AAC, or a drawing sent later. A smile isn't required, and sounds while waiting are fine. Practice on a calm day, never in the middle of a hard moment.

How do I make family gatherings and Christmas dinner work?

Ask the host for a quiet spot before you arrive, and show it to your child first thing. Kennedy Krieger suggests a "special spot where your child can go to have some down time." Adria Nassim, writing about her own holidays for the Indiana Resource Center for Autism, describes her family keeping a quiet room ready in case she needed a break.

Let your child join in as much as they're comfortable. Nassim's advice to hosts is to include their autistic guest but "try not to mandate it." You don't need to go to every event, either. Pick the ones that matter most to your family.

If you want to practice one skill for the day, such as waiting while someone else opens a present, use a token board for that skill only. Tell your child exactly what earns a token: "You get a star when you wait while Grandpa opens his present." Give the star right away. Start with one or two spaces, and agree ahead on what your child gets when they're filled; give it as soon as they are. Breaks are always available; the board never takes one away. No tokens? Draw a mark on a card. Then see how waiting goes on the day itself.

Visiting Santa? It can be exciting for some children and scary for others. Talk through what happens, or watch other children meet Santa from a distance first. Some areas hold sensory-friendly Santa events.

What about travel, and the day after?

If you're traveling, our holiday and routine changes guide covers packing, delays and getting home.

Plan December 26 as well. It's a Saturday this year. Many children have a harder few days after a holiday, even a good one, and getting back to ordinary routines, meals and sleep is usually the way through. Make a short "Back to our days" schedule of familiar steps. New toys can come out a few at a time.

Make "Christmas morning" and "Visiting family" in the free maker

1. Open the free Visual Schedule Maker and choose Start from Scratch.
2. Fill in the short form (your role, name, email and country, and ZIP code in the US). The maker opens right below.
3. Title it "Christmas morning" and pick the drawn child who looks most like yours.
4. Tap Add Step for each line of the example above, or your own day's steps.
5. Check each picture against its words. "Open presents, one at a time" shows a child opening a present. If a picture doesn't fit, tap it and choose another, or No picture (draw or tape your own).
6. Choose Cut-apart cards, then Print Schedule, or Save as Picture for a phone.
7. Do the same for "Visiting family." There, "Hello, everyone" comes up blank (draw it or use a photo of the family you'll see), and "Wave goodbye" shows a child waving. Then make a short "Any time" schedule: I need a break. Help. I feel scared. Each gets its own picture. Keep these cards in a pocket or envelope your child can reach.

Prefer to start with one guide? Download the free ABCs of Autism guide →

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Last updated November 12, 2026. This page is general information, not medical advice. Talk with your child's clinician about your specific situation.