My child was just diagnosed with autism. What can I do at home this month?

First, a few things that are true

• Autism is a different way of growing, learning and communicating. It isn't caused by anything you did.
• Your child is the same child they were before the diagnosis. What changes is what you understand about them.
• Children with autism keep learning all their lives. Help at home can make a real difference.
• You don't have to do everything at once. One small step a day is enough.

Week 1: Watch and write down

For one week, notice your child without trying to change anything. Write short notes on paper or in your phone:

• What does my child love? Toys, songs, foods, movements, objects. These will become your best teaching tools.
• How does my child tell me what they want? Words, pointing, pulling your hand, crying, bringing you things.
• When are the hard moments? Write what happened just before, what your child did, and what happened just after.
• What does a normal day look like? Waking, eating, bathing, sleeping.

These notes will help you, and anyone who helps your child later: a doctor, a teacher or a therapist.

Watch a video in English

Week 2: Make the day predictable

Many autistic children feel calmer when they know what comes next.

• Keep the same order each day for waking, meals, bath and bed, as much as you can.
• Show the day with pictures. Put photos or drawings of each step in a row: "breakfast, then shoes, then car." Point to each picture before it happens. You can make one free with our Visual Schedule tool and print it, or draw it by hand. Step by step: how to use a visual schedule at home.
• Warn before changes. Say "Two more minutes, then bath," and show the bath picture.

Week 3: Help your child communicate

Communication is more than talking. Every way your child tells you something counts.

• Get face to face. Sit or kneel at your child's level.
• Use few words. Say "ball" or "more ball," not a long sentence.
• Wait. Hold something your child loves, and wait a few seconds for a look, a sound, a point or a word. Then give it right away.
• Answer every try. If your child points, reaches or makes a sound to ask, respond. They learn that communicating works.
• Use pictures if words are hard. Two or three pictures of favorite things on the fridge let your child point to what they want.

Watch a video in English

Week 4: Handle hard moments

Hard behavior is usually a way of saying something: "I want that," "This is too loud," "I don't want to," or "I need attention." Sometimes pain, illness, poor sleep or worry can make things harder. If behavior changes suddenly, ask a doctor.

• Look at your Week 1 notes. What usually happens just before? Can you change that? For example, a quieter room, a warning before turning off the TV, or a snack before shopping.
• Teach a better way to ask. If your child screams to get a toy, show them how to point or say "toy," then give it to them when they do.
• Notice the good moments. Praise your child or give a small reward right after they do what you hoped for. Our free Token Board tool makes a simple reward chart you can print. Step by step: how to use a token board at home.
• Use stories for new situations. A short story with pictures, read before a doctor's visit or a haircut, helps your child know what to expect. Make one free with the Social Story tool. Step by step: how to use a social story at home.

If your child hurts themselves or others, or you're worried about their safety, talk to a doctor or health worker as soon as you can. In an emergency, call your local emergency number.

Take care of yourself too

• It's normal to feel sad, scared, angry, relieved, or nothing at all. Those feelings change with time.
• Find one person to talk to: a partner, a friend, a family member, or another parent of an autistic child.
• Many countries have a national autism society or parent group. Search "autism parent group" with your city or country name.
• Rest when you can. You're doing this for years, not days.

Finding more help where you live

• Ask your child's doctor or health worker what services exist in your area, and how to ask for them.
• Ask your child's school or preschool what support they can give.
• If there's a wait for services, everything on this page is something you can do while you wait.

Want to go further at home?

If you want step-by-step lessons, Journey to Independence: ABA for Parents has 27 short lessons for parents. They cover understanding behavior, teaching new skills one step at a time, and ways to respond to problem behavior. You can try it free for 7 days. If you choose to buy it, it's $129 for 12 months of access.

Try the parent lessons free for 7 days

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