Handling Outbursts and Unpleasant Behaviors

All children have temper tantrums. They scream, cry, yell and thrash about whenever they do not get what they want when they want it. Sometimes a piece of candy or a little pep talk can calm them down – and other times it takes more than a promise to get them to stop. For children with autism, outbursts of unpleasant behavior may be caused by frustration over trying to communicate what they feel or a product of a routine change.

As parents, you may experience your own frustrations and feel helpless whenever your child throws a fit and you cannot seem to make him or her stop nor understand what your child wants in the first place. Observation can help you see what causes your child’s outbursts of unpleasant behavior. Be keen and, eventually, as your child grows, you will learn to identify what triggers these tantrums and apply strategies that work to calm your child. There are several ways you can handle a tantrum:

• Positive reinforcement – Notice and praise your child when they are calm and when they ask for things in an acceptable way, before a tantrum starts. You can also give a token or a small reward for those times. Avoid giving the thing the tantrum was for as soon as it stops, because that can teach your child that a tantrum works; when you can, give it when your child asks in an acceptable way.
• Ignoring – Children sometimes throw a tantrum just for attention. In this situation, you can ignore your child. Do not talk, correct, hold or yell at your child (but always make sure your child is safe) to teach your child that getting attention by displaying unpleasant behavior will not be tolerated (Heffner). Expect the tantrum to get worse for a while before it gets better; staying consistent is what makes this work.
• Never punish – Spanking a child who is behaving badly is not a therapeutic way of handling a behavior outburst. Remember that your child with autism may be throwing a tantrum because he or she is not able to convey something verbally; therefore, there is no reason for you to punish.
• Assure your child that you understand – Let your child know you are trying to understand. If your child cannot yet say what they want, work with their therapist to teach another way to ask, such as a sign, a picture or a device (functional communication training).

Handling tantrums of a child with autism is not easy. Keep in mind that you can always ask for help on how to deal with tantrums from professionals, such as your child’s school counselor, teacher, or even your child’s therapist. With a little extra patience and a keen eye for observation, your child’s outbursts of unpleasant behavior are something that you and your family will be able to handle.

References:

Heffner, G.J. (n.d.). Managing tantrums in autistic children. Retrieved April 24, 2011, from http://www.autism-help.org/behavior-tantrums-aspergers.htm (link no longer available)

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